say what...

Children. They make you do things you never thought possible.

Its funny cause I really dislike over the top cheesy kinds of things. And that is EXACTLY what they love. Over the top expressions, reactions, tones, music, etc/

I thought I would struggle with it more, but it is what it is.

I never thought I would hear myself say:

- "poop!" "did you fart!?" "thats a good spit up!" and so excitedly. ok, so this really isn't that far out of my box. My sense of humor is like a 12 year old boy.  Even my conservative husband can't get mad in this context.

-"no, you may not bite my  nipple". and he just smiles and thinks its hilarious. It kind of is. but it kind of is not.

- "don't eat your diaper. don't eat my face. don't eat ...___" he shoves everything in his mouth. What to do instead, find something to replace it with.

-"yay!!" I celebrate internally usually. but he needs to hear me celebrate.

Ways I never thought I would talk:

- yep, baby talk. I never thought I would. That sing songy voice. I don't even cringe when I hear it recorded. Which I have to show off some of his little feats.

- repeating. I hate hraving to repeat myself. However, that is how he learns. Say words or phrases over and over

Actions:

- I will nurse wherever. If he's hungry, then he needs to eat. I always cover up though. I've even nursed him while holding him and trying to gather things around the house for work. I'm otherwise usually pretty conservative and self-conscious about the body.

- cleaning up poop: the kitties poop grosses me out more now. I mean, now that baby's eating solids, its way more gross that before, but its no big deal anymore. I've done it hundreds of times and will do it thousands more.

-laundry. once one of my most despised chores is welcomed. I need clean diapers, clothes, bibs and it is something I can actually do while holding him.


what I've learned the most here is that it is not about me. You just do what you have to do for him. Which often means coming out of your own comfort zone. And as a therapist, that place outside of your comfort zone is where the best most life changing stuff happens.