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Thursday, February 2, 2012

words

When it comes to words, I am a bit superstitious. While I may think a great many thing, I choose carefully what I put out there. I believe words have a lot of power. Here are a few examples:

When I was about 9 or 10, my sister and I were in the backseat of our jeep Wagoneer when mom decided to take it for a spin at the local gas station carwash. One of those ones that drags your car through. So we are playing around in the back, watching the sprayers and giant scrubbers go. I'm watching the ones come up from behind the car that are supposed to separate and go and brush around your car. I jokingly say something to the effect of "oh no, watch those are going to run into the car." Sure enough, those "scrubbers" did not separate and ran into the back of the car, shattering the back window and sending water and soap flying in. I also remember the attendant feeling so bad he gave my sister and i free popcorn and soda.

uh oh.

Another instance. In high school. a friend of mine and I had a saying that if we didn't like something, we'd say it "should get hit by a bus". If we hated a particular math assignment "math should get hit by a bus" or a tv show "family ties should get hit by a bus". One day a teacher really made us mad. Probably just told us to stop talking in class or something reasonable like that. We literally said, "mrs. so and so should get hit by a bus." Lo and behold, Mrs. so and so got hit by a bus.
 
No joke.

Beth then would not allow me to say anything negative when we boarded the plane together 2 years ago for Spokane, even though i wanted to tell her about this horrifying show I saw the night before about the worst plane crash in aviation history. "do not put it out there into the universe"

Last example. I always have thought having kids was a good thing. Bill and I had been unofficially trying for a spell and just thought it would happen. Although I would never admit it to anyone that I actually "wanted" that. Then it wasn't and I was getting frustrated. It wasn't until I was actually verbally able to say that I wanted to get pregnant out loud, that it actually happened.

Now I am not saying that I literally believe that there is a cause and effect reaction to what I say and what happens. (Although my sister Beth may argue that). What I am saying is that I believe that our words have a tremendous amount of power. I mean, look at what a simple compliment can do for someone's day or how a slight can send it in the other direction. Thats a lot of power.

Words come from what is in our head. I do not believe that we ever say anything that we do not mean. Even in a moment of anger, its what we mean in that moment. Sometimes we hold back what we mean. But if it comes from my mouth, its what I mean. You too.

I also remember a ym training I went to where we talked about goal setting. How we are more likely to accomplish something we write down we have in our heads. We are then 10 times more likely to accomplish that goal if we share with with another person/say it out loud.
My brain already tends to think a lot of negative things. It is almost on autopilot to think "worst case scenario." Perhaps so that it is prepared for worst case scenario. But I will not say that worst case scenario, because I do not want to "put it out into the universe". I want positive vibes and messages out there. Because that is what I want coming back to me and the people I care about.

Therefore I want to say things like, "my child will make a positive difference in the world." "You/I can get this accomplished", "this is not the end of the world", "it will turn out ok", "you are smart", etc, etc etc.

Is it a bit superstitious. Yes. But I think there is a lot of truth to it.

"Be careful what you say. saying things bring them into being."

2 comments:

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  2. I have actively removed negative speak from my life. I don't use the word hate. I try to actively avoid being snarky where it's purely hurtful. I get beyond annoyed when I see friends say things extremely negative about their kids. One friend calls her kid a really negative name (detail redacted). She says this out in the open in public. There is no possible way those thoughts don't bleed into her actions. Words are a window into our heart and mind. Learning to control our words isn't being "held back or reserved", it's about being mature and respectful of ourselves and the world around us.

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