Tomorrow morning at 9am, Bill and I will be at Condell Hospital, checking in, and making final preparations to bring Baby Burris into the world. I feel that we are as ready as we'll ever be, if anyone is ever really ready.
I have a few thoughts about this as we go into it. I fear they may be somewhat offensive to some people, but they are just my thoughts based on my experiences.
First of all, Bill has a co-worker that just had a baby about 6 months ago. And now almost every day for the past 2 weeks, this guy has come into his office asking him if he's ready and stating "you're life will never be the same." Bill says it almost sounds like a threat. And I can't tell you how many people have just made a similar statement in seriousness to the effect of ..."get ready, you're life will change forever."
Perhaps what confounds me is how people have stated this like it is brand new information. Well, of course its going to change forever. We are bringing a whole new person/life into the world. The focus of our attention will change. We will be doing something we have never done before in parenting and we have no idea what we are doing. It will cost money. We will be tired, worried, excited, overwhelmed, frustrated, in love, and God only knows what else. It will be difficult. Of course it will be difficult. Any change is difficult, especially one this big. And I am sure it will be so in ways that I will not expect.
However, people have been raising children for thousands of years. People choose to have more than one, even 4, 5 ,6 or even 8. It can't be impossible?
I also come from a place to where I never expect anything to be easy. Life is hard sometimes. Are there people who have never experienced difficulties? We learn to deal with it the best that we can. I mean my life changed significantly with a lot of experiences I've had; from just getting married to working 2 jobs while going to school to taking care of a dying parent to burying her, to getting laid off/changing jobs, etc. None of those were easy. Nor did I expect any of them to be easy. Yet I also am a believer in things/life is what you make of it. What are you going to do with those difficulties?
And why do I even have to compare the experience of bringing a precious life into the world and raising it with death?
Back to life is what you make of it. Naive? maybe. But its been my experience. I do believe that we have the power and ability to get through things, good or bad, with how we choose to look at/approach it. Often times a steep learning curve. But always do-able.
So what do I think about having a child and raising it? I know it will be difficult. I know that I will no longer be the center of my own universe. But I also believe that it will be incredible. It will teach me things about myself and the world that I do not yet know. It will challenge me in so many ways. It will bring a whole new purpose and direction to my life and will be the beginning of several generations. Its pretty exciting and a huge responsibility.
Of course it is.
Who thought it would be any different?