I want to follow up on my last blog post.
In the time since I started writing the last post about my "funk", I have been trying to be pretty intentional about being kind to myself. About rewiring what I think/believe. And part of it has been understanding things that happened and why they did. And seeing others and hurt broken people, just like I am. Yet capable of change and worthy of love.
While it is incredibly difficult to be vulnerable and open about what is going on in such a public forum, two things that I was not quite expecting happened.
1. Is how relieving it was to just get out of my system. Its a kind of stress, a burden to hold onto such negativity and walk with it on your shoulders. I do feel a bit lighter. But also minorly concerned about what people are thinking of me right now. lol!!
I suppose this is partly why I do encourage people to go to therapy. I have gone before to have a safe place to sort through such obstacles. And sometimes writing or talking to a friend can also be therapy. I suppose opening up to people more is something a therapist (i.e. myself) might say. However, not necessarily in the public forum of a blog. This is just where I chose to do so
2. The outpouring of support. And not the patronizing pitying (I despise pity) or "oh God, she's going to kill herself so we'd better say something" kind. But genuine "I get it" "I've been there" and "this too shall pass" kind. And "here is an author, a speaker, etc who is validating where you are at." People I hear from all of the time and people I haven't spoken to in years.
While I know that outside circumstances or peoples reactions should not define my inner world. I am going to be okay even if the world hands me crap. Sometimes life isn't fair. But also what I give the world to respond to is a projection of my inner self, whether conscious or not. If that makes any sense.
So I am working on it. This "Work in Progress".
Working on silencing or at least quieting the shame and doubt and energizing/strengthening the hope and love and security. Positive support from others certainly helps. And I thank you for that. Immensely. It means more than you may ever know.
And as if she knows I need a little somethings extra, my slightly anti-social kitty has decided to sit on my lap too. And purrs. Which NEVER happens. Maybe she is working on similar issues. :)
One last thing that I wanted to share is something that an old friend shared with me. I dig it. Social psychology research that I found myself nodding my head to the entire time. And its slightly humorous. Enjoy.