I had a giggle this year while attempting to write our annual Christmas letter that goes out with our Christmas cards. It usually highlights the things that we have done, accomplished, people and places we saw, and career moves. But this years letter, we pretty much had one thing to say.
That is, our family changed beautifully and irreversibly forever. We welcomed the future, a slew of hopes and dreams, joy and exhaustion beyond comparison. This guy:
And how do you write this in a Christmas letter?
If you received one, it was amusingly short by our standards.
This kid has altered everything I know about everything. What was important is now not. What was not even on the radar a year ago takes precedence.
Anxiety has been iteresting. I think we all havea litle anxiety, and I consier myself pretty calm. However all of my past anxiety was so self centered. i.e. "will I lose baby weight". "what does my boss think of me" "how do I look" "whos going to judge the cleanliness of my house' "me me me me". And don't get me wrong, I'm pretty self-centered still. Just the meaning has altered. i.e. I want to be healthy to be able to keep up with my kid and be a good example to him.
Now much anxiety is around him. Who is he with. What is he exposed to. Is he growing fast enough compared to everyone else? Is he safe? Is he getting enough sleep, food, floor time, learning, water, milk, etc. And I almost panic when I imagine adolescent years.
He also imspires me to want to be more, to be better. I want him to have the very best people around him and that does start at home. He makes me consider very carefully what my goals and "New Years Resolutions" will be. (which will be another post hopefully)
one thing I have noticed the last 2 weeks is how much I love other people loving my baby. He's been around family so much for the holidays and he is so bright and giggly and spreads that to others. He also just has good people in his life as family. Increasing fmily involvement may be a resolution on my list. Knowing he is surrounded by so much love lowers my anxiety.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Years all.