Wednesday, March 7, 2012

stubborn

So, for anyone who has ever met me, it might not be a surprise when I describe my self as ridiculously stubborn. ( I can see my sisters right now rolling their eyes, and saying in a sarcastic tone "nooo") I do things my way, I don't take kindly to unsolicited advice, am not a fan of authority, hate being told no or can't and I will push through difficulty so hard that it can work to my disadvantage (or advantage). Call it personality (nature) or being the product of a single parent (nurture); it is what it is.

So with that being said, the last month (or more) has been giving me a taste of humble pie. There are so many things that my stubbornness has made me fight or want to defy...and it has just plain outright been wrong.

examples?

- Recliner: Bill has been insistent that we get a recliner chair for the living room for months. and those months I have said no we  don't. He argues its "for me/for my good" esp. w/ baby coming...and stubborn Jenna says, only I know what good for me. I don't know where we'd put it and will clutter the living room. Well, as it turns out, I was wrong. Bill got the chair and it actually looks good in the living room and I practically live in the chair with baby.  *gulp*

- Activity level: One question I asked my doctor shortly after giving birth was what activity level I may return to. (I want life to go back to normal-ish and to get moving!) Doc said nothing but walking for 6 weeks. including lifting (which I wasn't to lift more than 20 lbs after month 6 anyway which was hard for me) because my body just went through a major "trauma". And I thought...really? Well, it turns out, even if I wanted to, there is no time to "work out". its feed, diaper, sleep. I'm lucky to get a shower in or a load of laundry, much less 20 minutes on the elliptical. Not to mention the fatigue. We'll see if at 6 weeks I'll be  able to accomplish anything. *swallow*

-Labor: I know I hashed through this before, but I wanted birth to be natural, no pain meds. I was realistic enough to not completely count them out (with my doctors slight nudging to be "open and flexible") And holy crap was he right. I thought I was tough. But I could not have tolerated it for the 7-8 hours of intense contractions that followed the 2-3 I went without (the hours of contractions prior to that were no big deal). My doc did give me a little "i told you so/ I knew you'd need the meds"the next day.  He was right. *swallow*

-Nursing: now here is where my stubbornness has worked to my advantage. Nursing is no walk in the park. it takes diligence, a tolerance for pain and being available all of the time. I can see how it would be easy to give up or just not try at all. But I wanted to. (and I recognize that some people just can't) it is so frustrating at times. But I don't give up. And my son is nursing well now and I have learned to do other things (like check facebook) while nursing. Hopefully I can translate this to sleep schedules and discipline when the time comes.

I wonder how it will work if he gets my stubborn streak?

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