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Thursday, November 17, 2011

Sneezing and airport security

I realize that I'm pretty fortunate.

During the course of my pregnancy I have had few symptoms. No morning sickness. Few food aversions/cravings (except the occasional egg distaste). Mainly I've been slightly more fatigued and more recently sneezing has become an experiment in muscle control. Yes, those muscles. And when I sneeze, its no holds barred, its all coming out and hard.

So we just got back from a little vacation in Florida to see Bill's brother get married and hang out with my grandma. We had a great time while vacationing. It was the Tampa airport trying to get home that cause a few problems.

Now, whatever you feel or feel you know about those airport scanners, I am of the belief that they are not a bad idea, unless you're pregnant. There is not enough research out there to say if they are safe or not safe, so guess what, I'm not taking any chances. Also, my doctor said to avoid them. Therefore, I consider him the expert. So before I even get to the scanners, at the end of a very long security line, I am expecting my pat-down.
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Bill and I finally near the end of our 30 minute security line, right in front of the guy who's going to check our ticket, when I let out another one of my famous ginormous sneezes. And right there, in the middle of the airport, while wearing a skirt and flats, my muscles fail, and here it comes, running down my leg. (*as a sidenote, I didn't know that the peeing while laughing/sneezing thing was just an overexaggeration thing on the part of pregnant people or what, I was initially skeptical, but now I know its true. oh so true...). I am hoping to goodness that no one has seen what is happening, afterall, how many people stare at the legs of preggos? And I do what I can to discreetly wipe it up with my skirt and sweatshirt that I am holding before I get to the pat-down station (where someone will be running their hands up and down my pee-soaked legs)

So it feels like we are good: although I am secretly embarrassed and I request my pat down. Bill watches our stuff and a TSA employee comes by and gives me the pat-down schpiel. She then congratulates me on my pregnancy while starting with my shoulders/arms. As she continues her protocol, she then feels the need to lecture me on why it is perfectly safe for me to go through any of their machines. that they have the same about of rays as my cell phone and am exposing myself to more radiation being on the planes then walking through a machine. And how do I argue with a woman who has her hands in my hoo-ha? She pretty much had the power in that situation. And as much as I wanted to ask her where she got her engineering or medical degree, or ask her what the long term research was on the effects of machines that have been in use for 2 years was,or tell her to just respect my decision,I just wanted out of there and to get home without getting myself into too much trouble.

Of course in retrospect, I wish I would have saved my sneeze for right then. Or not been in such a rush to clean myself up. Perhaps sneezing while pregnant might have had its advantages.

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